A Love Letter from 31 to 21

Well hello 21 year old me!

It's the day after your birthday!  I know those shots you did the night before do not make your head feel so hot, but you did it knowing how bad this morning would be.  You only live once right?  That's true.  And that will be a story you relive for a while!  This is your year.  Live and let live!  

What I have to tell you that might help now?  

Learn to let go.  Letting go of people in your life is not an easy thing.  You have to do it sometimes though.  Some people come into your life to teach you something or test your prior lessons learned.  Not everyone is meant to be there forever and the people who are won't make you work for it.  And blood does not give someone the right to treat you like less of a person.  You don't have to stay by a blood relative who hurts you.

Don't sell yourself short.  I know what you're saying.  You're in my face telling me how you'd never do that, but you will.  You will think that you don't deserve better.  You will stay when you really need to go.  But the good part?  After all the heartache and pain, you will find the person who takes it all way.  It won't seem that way at first but you'll see it.  You needed the heartache to be able to accept the facts that love does not have to be some crazy roller coaster.  By the way, you won't just find one.  In fact, you've already found one whose been with you for the last 6 years.

Take chances.  Nothing's ever that easy.  Don't give up on things that you need.  When you say you want to go to school, don't talk about it.  Just do it.  It's not easy.  If things in life were that easy, everyone would be doing it.  You need to strive for what you want.

Give in.  Learn to compromise.  It cannot always be your way or the highway.  Think about the big picture.  When you find a good man (see the next paragraph), don't harp on him about the socks lying in front of the hamper.  Just pick them up and toss them in.  If that's the worst he does, you should be thankful!  

Understand what is a "good" man.  Higher your standards.  He will not cheat.  He will hit, shake or scream.  He will not lie.  He just won't.  There's NO exception.  A man who has a job, no kids and never went to jail is NOT good enough.  This might sound redundant after telling you not to sell yourself short but it's not.  Selling yourself short is a LIFE lesson.  Not a LOVE lesson.  

Selfishness is not becoming.  You get what you put out.  If you want to say "why me", you'll get an answer and it may not be the one you want.  If you worry about "me" all the time, you'll burn the bridges all around you.  "Me" is not the only person in the world with problems.  Learn that instead you should say "I'm grateful for...".  You are lucky to wake up every morning.  You are lucky to be alive.  You will be lucky to be a wife, a mother, a business owner.  You are lucky because even at your lowest there is someone out there that has it worse.  Too many people have an issue learning this one.  They even try to fake it.

Be honorable.  Your godmother told you "I'd rather put a frown on your face with the truth than a smile with a lie".  Live it.  Accept that it won't always be the easiest.  The truth hurts a lot of the time.  But at the end of the day you'll sleep better knowing that you did.

I'm sure that you're tired of reading by now.  Attention isn't your strongest suit.  Well it won't be.  Three kiddies will most definitely make it worse.  You think you have moments without clarity now?  Just wait.  But you're going to be pretty good at it...life that is.  One last thing.  No regrets.  Hold your head high with the decisions you make.  You're the only one who will always have to live with them.

Your 31 year old you