So I am at the gym and I am finally feeling a little more comfortable lifting in front of other people until this woman next to me was staring at me. I was doing my Stronglifts 5x5 routine doing 65 lb overhead presses. At first I didn't think much of it but after the 5 sets, I started to feel overwhelmingly anxious. Why was she staring at me? Am I doing this wrong? Is there a whole in my clothes somewhere horrible? Did I miss a spot shaving? Oh my God...panic! So I kept on going even though I wanted to stop. And not just leisurely stop like dead stop, go to the locker room, grab my bag and sprint to the door. I setup my 135 lb deadlift and closed my eyes. Total deep breathing and quieting the anxiety... I did the deadlifts and then saw she was looking at me again. Then it happened. I made eye contact, she smiled and nodded at me. Just a simple nod but my mind went silent. She was not scrutinizing and mean girling...it was just a friendly "good job".
As I sit and write this, I am thinking of a conversation in my bible study group about success. There was a lot of talk of measuring up to other people in all areas. The fears of not measuring up are literally killing us and really what's the point of it all? The fear of scrutiny has stopped me from plenty in life. I may say that I do not care what people say but that is a total lie. My heart is on my sleeve. I wear my insecurities for all to see. This fight I am fighting is one that too many women are fighting also. We are so afraid of what each other thinks and says that we are forgetting the one simple fact of life...we are meant to love each other. To celebrate each other. To inspire each other. To lift each other up. To conquer the all feats together.
Next time you're out and you see another woman beasting it or struggling...let her know that she's doing wonderful. You may be quieting all of the anxieties and lifting her up much more than you could ever imagine.
Day my life changed: 8/3/2012
- Highest weigh-in to date: 243.5 lbs on 3/11/2008 (Wore 18/20 & 22/24 for a gown)
- As of 8/3/12: 208.6 (wearing size 16/18)
- As of today: 152.8 lbs (wearing size 4-6, XS-S & 26-27 jeans...the jeans are questionable at the moment due to the size of my quads lol)
Body Fat Percentage
- As of 8/3/12: 46%
- Body Fat %: 25.6% (using the gym's machine instead of caliper)
- 134 lbs
- 18% body fat
- Next Race: Marine Corps Half Marathon
- Trying out salt pills during this week's runs to see if they may help the summer running struggle
- Curious about the Rocket Fuel cookbook for homemade fueling
- Picked up Tailwind for the hubby & I to try during our long runs this weekend
- Week 6 of the She Runs This Marathon plan
- Working on Stroller Warriors' Run the World campaign. Currently pushing towards 750 miles!
- Dialing back the weight for the Stronglifts 5x5. I have reached a super challenging point and marathon training has to take the front seat. For now, I am using less weight and working on perfect form.
- Been sticking to my macros!
- Still logging in my MyFitnessPal! I hit a 1,235 day streak!
Welcome to join my Fitness Group on Facebook called Will Get Fit…for Cake https://www.facebook.com/groups/566678520087780/