If people were able to get into the mind of a person who has been heavy for most of their life, I am not sure that the mental thoughts and feelings would be understood truly.

"Fat" is a word that we are allowed to use and others need to watch themselves when using around us.  It is taboo in our minds for a person physically fit to say "I'm getting so fat" or to endlessly talk about how "disgustingly gross" they are because they have gained 2-3 lbs.  Plenty of times I have walked away thinking...the nerve of that person.  That is not great of me but I always knew that because of my overweight years I think differently now.  I mean I was bullied because of it so of course, I would, right?  Of course, I would be easily offended when something highlighted my struggle and made a joke of it.  Sure, I could make a joke of it anytime I wanted.  I would say, "oh but I'm fat" as a punch line.  But someone else comparing their 2-3 lbs of gain to my 100 lb+...well, how rude, right?

WRONG.  WRONG for them.  WRONG for me.  WRONG for everyone.

First and foremost, what someone else vents about has NOTHING to do with you.  It has to do with them and only them.  It is a mirror to their internal struggle.

Two, people need to stop criticising their own bodies internally and externally.  Why are we beating the crud out of ourselves?

And seriously...we need to stop seeing things as Fat vs Skinny like racist's see Black vs White.  I cannot even try to explain this but it is really a thing.

Stop!  Stop blurting out such self-punishment.

Finally, sit down and think about what you love about yourself.

Adjust your focus.


I recently have gained some of my weight back due to my reset year, medical issues and trying to put on more muscle.  It has been a struggle for me.  BUT you know what...I have always loved my green eyes...my sense of humor...my quirkiness...my attention to details.  This is where I am focusing.  This is where I need to be.  In the mind of a person who is happy with being herself at either weight.  Recently, I put this picture together for something else but do you see what I do?  Happiness.  It's in both of these pictures.

Do I wish that people would stop using the word fat the way they do?  Sure.  Will they?  That's on them.  The mental side of all of this is a dangerous line to walk.  What easily starts out innocent can lead down a road of self-hate and eating disorders.

Ever say...

I am going to have to do double cardio because I couldn't control myself and ate ____ ?

I'm horrible.  I have no control.  Look at me.  I'm fat because I cannot stop myself.

Nope, I'm not eating.  I need to burn all of this off before I let myself have anymore.

...I've heard all of those and said a few before too.  I also have had an eating disorder to try to fight my battle with being overweight.  Just know that it all starts or stops in one place...self-hate or self-love.