Setting out for big things is scary. It's the fear that pushes you to grow into the capabilities of mastering the feats ahead. This was how I felt about marathon #1. It was a monster of an obstacle. Plenty of times I believe I could not do it. I was never going to make it through training. Then #2 and #3 came along...and I got cocky. By #4 I took on a training and life that was near impossible. Finished and went onto an ultra-marathon (#5) then I came crashing down after that. I needed a reset season and then headed back for #6. Completed it with a different perspective than the ones before. It was more about others than myself. Went on for another ultra-marathon (#7) afterwards and needed a longer reset. I broke on that one like I never had before.
Every self doubt... every negative notion... every criticism... they flooded my mind. During both ultra marathons, I broke. The first one my vision started to go at the last mile or two. The second one my mental strength faltered confronted with my fear of heights as the hardest leg of the course with the most height issues was at night. It even lead me to misstep and upset a previous Achilles injury.
Now after almost a year and a half I am setting out to tackle #8. My goal this go round is to not overwhelm with doing all the things at the same time, train honestly & not break the "date" with myself and most of all...
Run for me.